captured my heart a few years ago and I haven’t been able to let them go.
Spending the last few months there has been a dream come true but it hasn’t all
been happy, happy.
As I began to prepare for this trip, the Lord placed a
burden on my heart for teenage girls. They need to know and understand the
Father’s love. So I studied and prepared. After arriving in Cameroon, I was
asked to do some teaching to Ministry leaders on relationships. Wonderful…(insert
sarcasm) I did my best. My final words
to the group was that love should be the motivator for everything we do. It
starts with our love for the Father and moves from there. His love for us is
our example for how we are to treat others.
traveled to a small village to provide medical care, a Crusade and teaching for
some of the local Pastor’s. We all know that I don’t deal with chaos and confusion
very well. On the last day of our clinic, we lost several Dr.’s. We knew this
was going to happen and tried to prepare well. We were serving several hundred
people daily. I got up early to hand out numbers to people waiting in line. I
tried to be there by 5 or 5:30. When I arrived this particular morning, there
was already more than 200 people in line. As I walked down the road alone, I
said silent prayers for the Lord to prepare the hearts of the people for disappointment.
I handed out the numbers in less than 15 minutes and during that time at least
100 others arrived and were told that we would likely not be able to see any
others that day. Chaos isn’t the word for what happened. There are no personal
space boundaries in Cameroon. There aren’t boundaries about most things.
Suddenly I was surrounded by hundreds of people screaming, pushing and pulling
me trying to find where I had hidden the other numbers. People were begging and
pleading with me and showing me their wounds asking for help. With God’s grace
I was able to calm them down and get a bit of order to explain what was happening.
My colleague arrived and helped explain
in Pidgeon and French. (I MUST learn French. My understanding of Pidgeon is
pretty good) People were not happy but willing to wait to see if they could be
seen later in the day.
see the volume of people we had been seeing with only 3 doctors. People by now
recognized me as the woman who had the numbers. In their eyes, I controlled who
was able to see the Dr. and who could not. Trying to explain things wasn’t
helping. These people were desperate and they were hurting. The shouting and
pushing and shoving began all over. Suddenly, I had people telling me that I
came to Africa to kill people, I didn’t want to help them and I didn’t care.
While I know this wasn’t true and that they were only trying to manipulate me
into helping them, it still hurt that day. Hearing this and similar things over
and over did something to my spirit. I took my things and left. In order to try
to remain Christ like, I had to excuse myself. I took a walk and hid myself. Walking
with tears in my eyes, I asked the Lord what was going on. Are these really the
kind of people that you want me to help? People who are ungrateful and spew out venom
after we have worked tirelessly to help them? What happened to the people of
Cameroon that I love? This is why I work with kids. Life is much simpler with
them. Ungodly thoughts were going through my head. I was not a happy camper. It
was only later that I remembered how I myself can treat the Lord in similar
ways. He has done so much for me and when it seems that I am not getting my
way, I can begin to act like a spoiled brat.
This happened to be my night to present devotions to the
team. When Dr. Downey approached me, I had to admit that I had completely
forgotten. I told him that I didn’t have anything prepared. Immediately, the
Lord brought Philippians 2 to my mind. It asks if you are tender and
compassionate, tells us to love one
another wholeheartedly, to have the
attitude of Christ and to do things without complaining. It also talks about
Jesus giving up all of His Divine privileges to come to earth to minister to
us. Then I began to think about how much he was rejected and mistreated. So the
woman who had been teaching about love for the last month had to have her love
meter checked. Was I asking people to do as I say and not as I do? A very
humble reminder for me but a good one.
mission trips because you want to make change in the world. What you may not
realize is that God wants to make changes in you and He uses to
missions to help facilitate that change.” What I just realized, is that I live
my life on the mission field so that must mean that God has a LOT of changes He
wants to make in me! Don’t be fooled
into thinking that the mission field is some foreign country. The mission field
is right outside of your door wherever you are. Our lives are constantly
changing and if we allow the Lord to work in us, we will constantly be evolving
into the people that He wants us to be. We must be willing to hear what He is
saying and then do what He says.
But anyone who does not love, does not know God for God is
love. I John 4:8
